242

WITI ISMS

The home stretch-a nap on the lounge.
-Lowell Citizen.
Voices of the night-squlling twins.-
Fall River Advance
"There are no flies on me," murmurs the deserted summer hotel-Hotel Mail
The home stretch-fixing up a story to tell your wife at 1a.m.-Washington Critic
The wife who carries on her husband's pawn shop after he deceives truly a "loan wilder."-Washington Critic
- Customer-What do you sell these cigars for?
Clerk (absently)-Havanas, but they ain't by a long chalk-Tid Bits
Tramp (meeting dude on the street)- Say, young feller, can't you give a poor gentleman a few people?-The Epoch
"Tight money" murmured the unfortunate in the police court, as he paid the usual fine and costs-Boston Commercial Bulletin
The boy who is obliged to go through the 'Shorter Catechism" wonders how it happened to come by its name-Boston Courier.
"What shall we do to be saved?" asked a revivalist And a small boy in the rear shouted: "Let's trade teams with Detroit."-Judge
Prize fighting of the present day is so weak that brutal policemen do not regard it as a disturbance of the peace-New Orleans Picayune
"Land Leaguer" wants to know where the first recorded eviction took place. The first Eve-iction, we believe, was from the Garden of Eden-Buffalo Express
Brown (solilcquizing at 2 o'clock a.m.
-I wish all words in the English languish wuss shpeit wish an an "sh" Itshs shomuch eashier to obey-Ted Bets
We learn that a train was [?] a distance of thirty eight miles through Texas one day last week and was neve4r robbed at all.
It was a gravel train.-Od City Blizzard.
Little Jonnie's mother does not answer one of his many questions. Johnnie grows impatient and asks "Mamma, haven't you got any talk in your mouth?"-The Epoch
Citizen (to policeman)-Do you think it will rain to night?
Policeman-Oh don't know, sorr; Oi've only been on the force wan wake.- Harper's Bazar.
"What was Nero's greatest act of cruelty?" asked the teacher of the class in history. "Playin' the fiddle," was the prompt response, and the teacher let it go at that- Washington Critic.
He-Did you enjoy the sermon?
She-Of course I did. I had on a new hat and and dress and the sexton seated me directly in front of that dreadful Miss Briggs-Detroit Free Press