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Whit at Apr 02, 2020 01:01 PM

59

LATEST NEWS FROM THE WILD WEST

Buffalo Bill will have to give out before long. He is expected to be present at every entertainment, public and private. No lady of fashion dreams of giving a ball without having "Buffalo Bill" printed in the corner of the card, and dinner-party invitations are poured upon him by the score.

"Yes, sir," said he the other day to one of our representatives, "it's rather a trial to my nerves, hard as they are. Just you fancy what my feelings were when a waiter came up to me, and said he, 'Scalped oysters, sir?' Of course what he meant 'scalloped'; but I tell you what, I felt inclined to take that oyster--I mean that man--by the beard and--Well, I won't say any more."

"And how many balls have you been to, colonel?"

"Well, sir, I s'pose about ninety-nine have been put up for me since I've been in your country. I could only fire--I mean I could only accept fifty-two, but I him 'em--that is, I went to 'em all."

"And did you indulge in a hop?"

"No, sir. Buck-jumping's more in my line. I fancy," added the gallant colonel, reflectively, "when I get an invite to your Bucking-ham Palace, that I'll have a try. 'Pears to me there's something in the name that seems familiar."

"Quite so," acquiesced our R.

"It's the society, sir, I expect. So mustangy--I beg pardon, so distangy."

"And how do you find this constant round of dissipation set upon your constitution?"

"Well, sir. It's not been good for my liver, sir, and that's a fact. Tell you what, I've a good mind to differentiate my name, and call myself Buffalo Bill-ious!"

After that our R. retired.

59

LATEST NEWS FROM THE WILD WEST

Buffalo Bill will have to give out before long. He is expected to be present at every entertainment, public and private. No lady of fashion dreams of giving a ball without having "Buffalo Bill" printed in the corner of the card, and dinner-party invitations are poured upon him by the score.

"Yes, sir," said he the other day to one of our representatives, "it's rather a trial to my nerves, hard as they are. Just you fancy what my feelings were when a waiter came up to me, and said he, 'Scalped oysters, sir?' Of course what he meant 'scalloped'; but I tell you what, I felt inclined to take that oyster--I mean that man--by the beard and--Well, I won't say any more."

"And how many balls have you been to, colonel?"

"Well, sir, I s'pose about ninety-nine have been put up for me since I've been in your country. I could only fire--I mean I could only accept fifty-two, but I him 'em--that is, I went to 'em all."

"And did you indulge in a hop?"

"No, sir. Buck-jumping's more in my line. I fancy," added the gallant colonel, reflectively, "when I get an invite to your Bucking-ham Palace, that I'll have a try. 'Pears to me there's something in the name that seems familiar."

"Quite so," acquiesced our R.

"It's the society, sir, I expect. So mustangy--I beg pardon, so distangy."

"And how do you find this constant round of dissipation set upon your constitution?"

"Well, sir. It's not been good for my liver, sir, and that's a fact. Tell you what, I've a good mind to differentiate my name, and call myself Buffalo Bill-ious!"

After that our R. retired.