306

Debbles.

It is better to rise with the lark than with the bent pin.--Burlington Free Press.

....The fishery question:"Dan Lamont, will you bait that hook for Mrs. C., or shall I?"

....A rich girl may be homely, but she will never know it by hearsay.--Somerville Journal.

....If there is anyone who should be "rapped in slumber," it is the man who snores.--Exchange.

....A young society lady calls her partner at a recent dancing party. "Indian," because he was always on her trail.--Exchange.

....A Butler Club has been organized in Massachusettes. Its paper is stamped with two spoons, crossed, and the legend, "It might have Ben."

...."You say you were very lucky the first time you bought a lottery ticket?"
"Yes; I drew a blank, and have never invested since."--Harper's Bazar.

....The thanks of the nation are due to President Cleveland for having found the answer to that side-splitting conundrum:"Which would you rather do in summer or go a-fishing"?

...."How's business?" "Oh, it's picking up. How's yours?" "Well, mine's falling off." "So?" What is your business?" "Going over Niagra Falls in a barrel. "What's yours?" "I'm a rahpicker."--Tid-Bits.

....The ubiquitous small boy has begun to lay his annual contribution of lilacs on the teacher's desk, only to be rewarded later in the season by having his baseball and Fouth of July pistol confiscated.--Portland Advertsier.
.... Contributor: "Here is a manuscript I wish to submit." Editor (waving his hand): "I'm sorry. We are all full just now." Contributor (blandly):"Very well; I will call again when some of you are sober."--Gazette and Courier.

....When one of Buffalo Bill's braves was thrown from his Indian pony and severely injured at the Wild West Show, in London, last week, Mr. Gladstone sent a telegram of condolence to show his sympathy for the down-trodden people of Ireland.

....After writing sentences one day, the scholars exchanged work for correction. A small boy marked an error, and then at the foot of the paper made the following explanatory note: "He didn't begin Massychewsits with a caterpillar."--Harper's Bazar.

....Another thoughtless man has met with a serious accident while cutting coupons, by dropping his scissors and fashing his leg. If this thing keeps on the coupon scissors will soon supersede and the toy-pistol as a weapon of destruction, and none of us will be safe.

....Will you allow me to look at your paper for a moment sir?" said a tramp, politely, to a gentleman in City Hall Park."I am anxious to ascertain the weather probabilities." "you are interested in the weather; then?" replied the gentleman, handing over the paper. "Yes, sir. I am going to lie down and take a nap if the elements are in my favor.-- Puck.