31
The so-called American exhibition in London is a flat failure, but the Wild West show is coining money rapidly. The exhibition consists pricipally of a display of [porcelain teeth?] and extract of beef. The crowds that flock to see Buffalo Bill pay no attention to the long shed which is supposed to contain the exposition.
32
OUR PICAYUNES.
Baseball is alwas played out and is generally popular. A souttled ship is lost; but it is not the same with coal. Fashion now demands cheap clothes that look expensive. A woman wearing a curled wig is Hyporion to a satire. Eating with gloves on may be fashionable, but it is not neat. All insurance companies must have some line of policy marked out
It is a cold day in Michigan when there are no forest fires burning.
No young limb of the law is big enough to establish a branch office.
Washington is considered healthy enough fro an extra session of Congress.
Baseball players are most active in fly time. Some of them go out on a fly.
The perfection of military drill comes when soldiers are machines instead of [mou?].
Gamblers will take risks, but they do not like to risk their health on hard work.
The called bonds are bound to come. They are no longer of interest to the holders.
Two rights cannot make a wrong, unless they are shoes and the lefts are missing.
The young man who loafs about all winter is likely to go to the dogs by the dog days.
Buffalo Bill tickles John Bull. Cody takes the honors and Salisbury takes the money.
The London Exposition is not talked of, although much is said about Buffalo Bill's Show.
"Give us back our ancient baskets," is the cry of the peach peddlers of Pennsylvania.
[Charloy?] Smith thought his name was not funny enough, and so he called himself "Bill Arp."
Maine has a new stringent liquor law. This ought to touch the domestic blackberry wine trade.
The new statue unveiled at Washington makes Garfield appear in trousers that do not fit him.
Socrates had it about right when he said: "Woman once made equal to man becomes his superior."
Mark Twain, in his fool definitions, might call "plagiarism" something that plagues [honest?] authors.
A real fact is something that is. The assured fact, plain fact and fact of history is quite different.
A crack military company is one that goes all to pieces when the real work of a soldier is to be done.
Buckle had it that everything is governed by the doctrine of averages. The difficulty is in striking the average.
Molville Phillips has written a story called "The Devil's Hat." The hat was probably stolen while the owner was praying.
As if liquor would not drive a man crazy soon enough, some of the beer [sellers?] in the West hire brass bands to play in their gardens.
A long, hard summer is coming on. Straw hats are cheap; but champagne Juleps and honest seats on summer hotel verandahs are expensive.
A man may go in a drug store on Sunday, take a glass of [Viohy?] and eat a [clove?]. He cannot deceive himself. He has not had the drink he wants.
There is nothing like being satisfied. The Baltimore American says: "Heavan is good to Baltimore; but it could not be otherwise. Baltimore is such a good place."
An exchange says "Augustin Daly began life as a journalist." He must have been the youngest journalist of the World if the beginning of life is fixed at one's birth.
The Young Men's Christian Association in Philadelphia is $200,000 in debt. Running in debt is a bad habit. Good could be done in buildings and rooms less expensive.
Sins of commission are committed when the merchant charges too much commission for finding a customer. Sins of omission are the old ones of omitting to send the funds collected.
There is a military company in Mobile that will not drill unless young ladies are present to see them. They may get the bouquets, but they will not take first prize at the national drill.
Give a Chicago man control of 50,000,000 bushels of wheat and he will let the poor have it; always remembering that none are so poor as those who have sold what they do not own.
It is the opinion of the Courier Journal that it is more difficult for a camel to go to heaven through the eye of a needle than it is for a Senator to enter the White House as President.
One can always-take pains by eating green cucumbers. - [Boston Gazette.] He can take time by winding his clock up. - [New Orleans Picayune.] And he can take his e's by becoming a printer. [Chicago Tribune.] And he can take h. ill by taking it from the wrong case. [Jacksonville News.
Never allow a child to use a short pencil, lead, or slate. It spoils the handwriting. - [Boston Journal of Education.] Some of the men who make copy for printers must have used the shortest kind of stube in childhood, else they have an idea that illegible manuscript is a sign of genius on the part of the writer.
Wm. J. Florence intends to shine socially in his declining years. On the $15,000 site which he has purchased in the fashionable West End of Washington he will erect a costly residence and entertain his friends handsomely. Mrs. Florence, who has a great many dresses, will entertain the Dardenelles when they come over.
33
FOREIGN NEWS AND GOSSIP.
An elevated railway has been built in Hungary of wire rope for the transportation of ores.
Nate Saulsbury. Buffalo Bill's partner propposes to introduce pop-corn in london this summer.
The cultivation of wheat in Brazil on an extensive scale is a question now occupying the attention of agriculturists in that Empire.
The [porte?] has prohibited the importation into Turkey of all Greek journals, in consequence of the publication of articles hostile to Turkey.
The invention of the war cycle, a [velocipede?] that carries ten soldiers, is considered so valuable in England that one is to be built for twenty-six men, thirteen to work the cycle and thirteen to ride.
A torpedo-boat built for the Italian Government, made on her trial trip at Gravesend, England, a speed of twenty-nine miles an hour. The Italian cruiser Dogali at the same time made twenty-two and one-half miles, which makes her the fastest cruiser afloat.
Among the attractions of the convict settlement of Nonmea, New Caledonia, is an orchestra which is said to be the best in Oceania. It is composed of 120 instrumentalists and is conducted by a former musician of the Paris Opera, who is under a life sentence to hard labor for murder.
The St. James' Gazette says that the British Government is ransacking Canada and other remote places for cavalry horses, while French and German agents are buying suitable horses for the same purposes from the Yorkshire farmers. The Yorkshire horses have, however, had their tails docked, which rules them out of the British cavalry service under army regulations.
34
Buffalo Bill has become a veritable social lion in England. The swells of English society flock in hundreds to his tent and are formally introduced to him. Ile, with true Davy Crockett, prairie courtesy, invites them tiwhin and disposes the hospitality of the place. He is asked all manner of questions, and in reply entertains them with stories of hair-bredth escapes and ear splitting adventures, until their individual hairs stood on end like quills upon the back of the fretful and amusing porcupine. In return he is asked to swell balls, receptions and parties, and even "Buffalo Bill" parties are given in his honor. Even Mrs. Langtry, when fullest clothed with the power of beauty, was never, at any time, a greater ion. Bill enjoys it and like the shrewed man that he is loses no opportunity to take it all in, not forgetting the pleasing fact that the gate receipts are visibly increased thereby. He has certainly hit the bull's eye this time.
35
Buffalo Bill a Soceity Lion.
LONDON, May 21- Mrs. Mackay's musical party proved the most powerful attraction in London. Her house in Buckingham Gate was charmingly decorated throughout with masses of flowers. Madame Nevada sang in very good voice. Prince Malcolm Khau, the Italian Minister, and [Barou?] De Pindor represented the diplomatic corps. Sir Arthur Sullivan and Buffalo Bill divided the honors. Society was there in full force. After the concert supper was served.