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SHREDS AND PATCHES Loud Lovell's lame excuse Lord Lovoll he stood at his own front door beaking the hole for the key, His hat was wrecked and his trousers bore A rent across either knee. When down came the beauteous Lady Jane In fair white draperoo.
"I'm not drunk, Lady Shane," he said: "And so late it cannot be: The clock struck one as I entered It must be the salmon on which T fed Has been too many for me,"
"Go tell your tale, Lord LoveU," she said. "To the [word] cavairee, To your grandam of the hoary head To any one but me. The door is not used to be opened With a cigarette for a key,"
There is a great difference between a musket and a domestic. A musket never kicks until it goes off. - Yonkors Statesman.
A young lady at a ball called her escort an Indian because he was "on her trail" all the time - Hartford Sunday Journal.
Dialogue Between two Blind Sten - "Do you know the gentlemen who gave you the diem just now?" "Only by sight." - Paris Ganiois.
One danger of female suffrage is that the women may want the men to bet them $50 bonnets against $6 hats on the result. - Baltimore American.
A temperance paper asks bitterly, "Go into one of our gin palacos, and what do you find?" Very apt to find gin. - New York Commerical Advertisor.
It is little consolation for the men who dives into hsi drawer for a clean shirt and finds one with the buttons off to be told by his wife that she has been busy all week sewing for some other heaton. - Yonkers Statesman
An "ad" notice in a French provincial paper: "In order to put an end to certain injurious rumors, M. Untel desires to inform the public that he is no thte M. Untel of this city who was recently sentenced to death and executed."
She - Yes, Edward, we've got everything, I believe, but where's the baby? He - why, I gave it to you. She - I know, and I gave it back to you! He - Well, by thunder if I haven't gone and lost it in the parlor car! - Harper's Weekly.
The man who can perserve a calm and unimpassioned demeanor while holding four soes, or who can assume an air of self satisfied confidence while bluffing with two deuces, may often be observed later on cautiosly creeping up stairs in his stoking feet. - Pittsburg Dispatch.
A nice climate - Bliss Waldo (of Boston)- "You sometimes have very warm weather in Chicago, do you not, Mr. Breezy?" Mr. Breezy - "Occasionally but last summer the weather was delightful. I don't think I sat down to dinner without my coat on more than two or three times during the entire season." - Puck.
"So your son went over to Mexico," said a man, addressing a friend. 'Yes' "Did he like the country; that is, does he live well?" "Well, he doesn't live at all, but they tell me that he died as well as anybody ever did. Died right off without any follishness. I tell you what. Jim was not a hald way man" - Arkansaw Traveler.
Ponsonby- "Heard about Buffalo Bill, hay?" DeTwirliger- "Nevah heard of him. Who is he?" "Nevah heard! Anthaw, you pain me! The Queen visited him the other day and his Royal Highness visited him the other day and his Royal Highness shook his hand" "Baw Jovel Is that so? WHy don't the man visit America and give a chap a chawnce, you know," - Philladelphia Call.
Last Sunday a teacher in Maine Sunday school had been tolling her class about Moses, dwolling at length upon his character, and desiting to test their attention and memory she asked. "What kind of a child was Moses?' All was silent for a moment, when one fellow answered up: "I think he was a boy, ma'am." - Bangor Commercial.
Little Dot - "What makes these little doggies cry so when I take them up?" Omaha Mamma - "Because they don't like to be taken away from their mamma" 'Do they love their dog mamma just like children?' "It seems to me sometimes, dear, that they love their mamma a good deal better than some children do" 'Well, dog mammas can't spank." - Omaha World.
Mamma- Did you enjoy the reception last evening, my dear? Clara - Oh, ever so much. It was simply dilicione I met Mr. Albion, and his manner is just perfectly exquisite. We danced ever so many times Mamma - Mr. Albion! Where is this charming young gentleman from? Clara - I think he is from Chicago, but his manner is so perfectly English that you would think he had always lived in New York. - Old Bits.
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A London letter to the New York World says: "No American who has ever visited Europe has attracted more attention than Buffalo Bill. General Grant, when he came here, did not occupy a larger place in the minds of the British public than does Buffalo Bill."
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William Recoups,
Pittsburg Dispatch.
After all it is a little compensation to reflect that the American dollars taken over to England by Henry Irving will be brought back by Hon. Buffalo Bill.
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BUFFALO BILL is regareded as the most distinguished American who has ever visited England. His professional and social triumphs induce the New Orleans States to say: "Who of the many know Buffalo Bill in the seventies when he had a "Wild Injun play" on the road and frequently appeared on the stage in his rifle shooting scene so full of the essence of joy that he could not hit a balloon with a butter paddle, ever dream that he would ever become a social bison across the raging sea. But he is one to such an extent that he has paralyzed all other Americans who pined for a sniff of the royal atmosphere. Even the aristocratic Ned Pholps, our [?] minister, who a short time ago pompously declared that none but the higher classes of Americans should see the Queen, is now as a bump on a log when compared to Buffalo William."
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THE LATEST LONDON GOSSIP AMERICAN-ENGLISH STYLES OF RIDING. The Cowboys as Pioeers of a Better System. Ignorance of London Policemen- Proportions of the Fame of Buffalo Bill. New York World. LONDON, May 18, - The English people are more impressed by the magnificent riding at the Wild West Show that they are by any other freature of the exhibition. The sporting papers devote a great deal of space to a study of the America school of equestrianism. Nearly all of the professional critics agree hat the American style of sitting firmly in the saddle, as if the rider were a part of the horse, instead of rising in the English way, is greatly to be perferred. I should not be at all surprised if the advent fo the Wild West should not produce a marked change in the English school of riding. Recentl and old army officer had a log card in the Times showering the surperior points of the cowboy style of riding and calling upon the English horsemen to sudy that stle of riding to learn grace, security and how to best save the strength of the horse. The style of riding taught in the fashionable English riding schools is the reverse of graceful. The stirrups of the rider are drawn up so short that the rider's knees are brought up nearl to his face. This shortenin of the stirrups curls the rider forward so that he looks as if laboring under an exaggerated curvature of the spine. Take this ungraceful looking position and then give the figure occupying it a regular jumping jack motion six inches up and down at every step of the horse and you have a correct idea of the grace and poetry taught in the English riding schools. The rising in the saddle ma e easy for the rider but it is very hard on the horse for a long distance ride. It is a style that may do for the parks and short country rides, but it cannot be compared for a moment with the Western border style of sitting firmly in the saddle, holding on by the knees, so that the rider moves only as if he were a part of the horse. The cowboy riders sit perfectly erect, and are so graceful in their bearing even when they are riding the hardest, that they demonstrate the correctness of the style. For off their horses they are not particularly graceful or interesting. No America who has ever visited Europe has attracted more attention than Buffalo Bill. Gen. Grant when he came here did not occupy a larger place in the minds of the British public than Buffalo Bill. Although Mr. Cody has not been in London over a month he is today as well known to the massess of this great city of 5,000,000 as is the queen. You could not pick up in the most obscure quarter of London any one so ignorant as to not know who and what he is. His name is on every wall. His picture is nearly in every window. The wonder of this lies in the face that the London public is strangely dull and unimainative. the people of one quarter are often as ignorant of a neighborhood within a stone's throw of them as if it were in Centeral America. You find constantly the proof of this in inquiring your way abou town. The policemen never know where particular streets or buildings outside of their beats are located. An Englishman who has lived in London for a quarter of a century tells me that no one but an American would think of asking a London policeman for anything in the way of information. London Policemen are often placed of guard in front of English officials' houses where they are absolutely ignorant of the name of the occupant. It is a genuine and not an affected ignoreance. Ihave asked higher police officials about this and they say that the men very often do not know and do not care. I saw some twenty policemen guarding one day the house of the Prime Minister. I asked several of the men on guard if they knew whose house they were guarding. They all replied in the most courteous negative. Finally, one of them referred me to an older constable who had been on the beat in that neighborhood for some years, and he was able to give me some information. Imagine a set of New York policement guarding any prominent official's house in New York without their knowing just what they were doing, and particularly if it were the house of the chief officer of our government. In order to get a full idea of this ignorance of the London policemen you will have to make a comparison. Suppose the average tourist in New York should ask a Madison Square policeman where the Gilsey House was or where the Fifth Avenue Hotel was and be met with the positive statement that he did not know? I can hardly imagine any policeman in New York of any experience who does not know every street and point of public interest on Manhattan Island. But even the London policemen know who Buffalo Bill is! I use this fact merely to illustrate how his notoriety and fame have permeated down to the densest stratum of public indifference and ignorance.
Another peculiar feature of Cody's London fame is that he is equally popular in the lowest and highest walks of society. He is really a great London lion. He is as much in demand at all kinds of high society gatherings as if he were a visiting prince. Indeed few visiting princes could have as many invitations thruss upon them as he has had since his arrival here. He is obliged to refuse the majority of the invitations which pursue him. He tried to go out to the London dinners when he first came here, but he soon found that they were too much for him. Latterly he finds it much more agreeable to entertain people in his own quarters, where there is nearly always a crowd when there is no performance on.
Lord Charles Beresford was fortunate enough to secure Cody's presence on the top of his coach at the last meeting of the Coaching Club. The Prince and Princess of Wales were present among the spectators. They attracted no more attention than did Mr. Cody. Wherever the coach went which carried his stalwart, picturesque figure there the crown would follow. And whenever it would stop the crowd would mass as if they were about a royalty carriage. The papers all speak of the stoical indifference of Cody under all this fire of admiring glances. The truth is that he is bored by it. He is surfeited by admiration and attention. He would like a little more freedom from notice. But the penalty of greatness is now upon him, and wherever he goes he is immediately the centre of a great, gaping crowd. The secret of his success with the higher classes is in his modesty and in his graceful, gentle manners. He has none of the swaggering conceit of Josquin Miller, and under all the fire of compliments and adulation he remains simple and unaffected. All of the Wild West people appear to good advantage when brought in contact with the royal or titled personages to whom they have been presented. They are all easy, self-possessed and show none of the cringing humility exhibited by the average today when presented to somebody he imagines to be his superior. That is the real secret of the popularity of these Wild West people with the high-class English people. There is no one who despises [servile?] attention more than the best English people. All of the Americans in London are proud of the effect produced by the Wild West part of the American Exhibition. T.C. CRAWFORD.