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Lizzy at Apr 01, 2020 02:36 PM

134

MALE HOUSEKEEPING
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Some Amusing Features of Life on the Great Ranches of the West.

One of the most comical features of ranch life is the absence of femininity. No wonder. We are two hundred miles from a milliner's shop, with the distance constantly on the increase. Last Christmas a desperate effort was made to celebrate the occasion by a ball. Over 10,000 square miles of territy was raked over, and the result was seven fair maidens and over forty dancing men. Each lady had six partners--a rather more than Scripture allowance. As every body here is engaged in cattle-raising, and only gives the odds and ends of his mind to housekeeping, the full capacity of the male for that industry never is developed. He seldom or never gets much beyond the manufacture of plain bread, coffee and steak. These three articles he will produce from the raw materials, taking his meat from the foot, if necessary, upon very short notice. Even an untrained chef can boil potatoes, or open one end of a fruit-can and pass it around the table, letting each feeder extract with his fork ad libitum. Cooking, however, is only one detail of successful housekeeping. The laundry must be attended to. The cook must occasionally act as chambermaid and undertaker--all of which is a severe tax upon untutored masculinity.

One of the most celebrated men in the West is Mr. --------. He has shot innumerable Indians, and is always in demand when there is a horse-thief abroad. He wears his hair long, and strikingly reminds one of Buffalo Bill. I first saw an immense photograph of this warrior in the window of a saloon, and it was a sight to chill a man's blood. A few days afterward, stopping at a ranch, I noticed a man with his rifle beside him, bending over a wash-board and peacefully soaping a pair of stockings. This was Mr. -------, the terror of --------- County, and for whom awaits some day a bloody death. He is one of the most hospitable of men. Whoever visits him is sure of a good dinner, although female hand has never consecrated his cook-stove. His ranch is of baronial proportions, and if it only had a floor, would be almost luxurious. The adobe walls are decorated with either white muslin or brown wrapping-paper. A suite of rooms in brown is preferable, because after the lapse of a few years, the virgin purity of the white muslin is apt to get fly-specked and torn.

The male housekeeper makes short work of his duties as chambermaid. As the guests sleep in blankets and he only sweeps out once a month, he borrows no trouble. One wash-basin and towel (renewed weekly) supply the household. By and by the tooth-brush will make its appearance, and afterward the barber. But we will not anticipate matters. For the present every man is his own artist and tailor. The cowboy, as a rule, is a great reader. His appetite for magazines and newpapers is abnormal.

It is marvelous how comfortable an open-air camp can be made. It takes but a few minutes to feed and hobble the horses and build a fire. In ten minutes or more the bacon will be sizzling in the skillet, the dough browning and the coffee-pot bubbling and walloping. There is no table. Each gentleman helps himself. There are a dozen ways of making a comfortable bed in the open air. If the night is windy, and no cedar is near the wagon-box (if you happen to have one), set up against the wind makes an excellent shelter for the head, and with the feet to the fire, and a saddle for a pillow, and a couple of blankets, one can sleep like a King. It never rains. If the night is very cold fires are made up and allowed to die, and the boys sleep in the warm ashes and sand. What about sickness? This is an item never calculated upon. An occasional horse-kick or a gun-shot would is the extent of the cowboy's ailments. As there are no doctors to be had, every one must be his own physician. Occasionally a man meets a violent death. As there are no preachers, and praying is a lost art, the funeral is soon dispatched. A craker-box for the head, and sand for the winding-sheet, and the howl of the coyote, and the everlasting winds of his requiem, constitues the frontiersman's obsequies.

It is wonderful how much good nature and cheerfulness this open-air life develops. While the ranchmen are by no means saints, and have rather more than the average of sins, yet they are full of good fellowship. The housekeeper is always glad to receive guests--the more the merrier. A large ranch has cabins at every water-hole, and the rent is always free. A stranger usually takes posession, cooks at the fireplace, sleeps in the best bed-room and in the morning is off and no questions asked. --Arizona Cor. Indianapolis Journal.

134

MALE HOUSEKEEPING.
______

Some Amusing Features of Life on the Great Ranches of the West.

One of the most comical features of ranch life is the absence of feminity. No wonder. We are two hundred miles from a milliner's shop, with the distance constantly on the increase. Last Christmas a desperate effort was made to celebrate the occasion by a ball. Over 10,000 square miles of territory was raked over, and the result was seven fair maidens and over forty dancing men. Each lady had six partners - a rather more than Scripture allowance. As every body here is engaged cattle-raising, and only gives the odds and ends of his mind to housekeeping, the full capacity of the male for that industry never is developed. He seldom or never gets much beyond the manufacture of plain bread, coffee and steak. These three articles he will produce from the raw materials, taking his meat from the foot, if necessary, upon very short notice. Even an untrained chef can boil potatoes, or open one end of a fruit-can and pass it around the table, letting each feeder extract eith his fork ad libitum. Cooking, however, is only one detail of successful housekeeping. The laundry must be attended to. The cook must occasionally act as chambermaid and undertaker - all of which is a severe tax upon untutored masculinity.

One of the most celebrated men in the West is Mr. -----. He has shot innumerable Indians, and is always in demand when there is a horse-thief abroad. He wears his hair long, and strikingly reminds one of Buffalo Bill. I first saw an immense photograph of this warrior in the window of a saloon, and it was a sight to chill a man's blood. A few days afterward, stopping at his ranch, I noticed a man with his rifle beside him, bending over a wash-board and peacefully soaping a pair of stockings. This was Mr. -----, the terror of ------ County, and for whom awaits some day a bloody death. He is one of the most hospitable of men. Whoever visits him is sure of a good dinner, although femal hand has neber consecrated his cook-stove. His ranch is of baronial proportions, and if it only had a floor, would be almost luxurious. The adobe walls are decorated with either white muslin or brown wrapping-paper. A suite of rooms in brown is preferable, because, after the lapse of a few years, the virgin purity of the white muslin is apt to get fly-specked and torn.

The male housekeeper makes short work of his duties as chambermaid. As the guests sleep in blankets and he only sweeps out once a month, he borrows no trouble. One wash-basin and towel (renewed weekly) supply the household. By and by the tooth-brush will make its appearance, and afterward the barber. But we will not anticipate matters. For the present every man is his own artist and tailor. The cowboy, as a rule, is a great reader. His appetite for magazines and newspapers is abnormal.

It is marvelous how comfortable an open-air camp can be made. It takes but a few minutes to feed and hobble the horses and build a fire. In ten minutes more the bacon will be sizzling in the skillet, the dough browning and the coffee-pot bubbling and walloping. There is no table. Each gentleman helps himself. There are a dozen ways of making a comfortable bed in the open air. If the night is windy, and no cedar is near the wagon-box (if you happen to have one), set up against the wind makes an excellent shelter for the head, and with the feet to the fire, and a saddle for a pillow, and a couple of blankets, one can sleep like a King. It never rains. If the night is very cold, fires are made up and allowed to die, and the boys sleep in the warm ashes and sand. What about sickness? This is an item never calculated upon. An occasional horse-kick or a gun-shot wound is the extent of the cowboy's ailments. As there are no doctors to be had, every one must be his own physician. Occasionally a man meets a violent death. As there are no preachers, and praying is a lost art, the funeral is soon dispatched. A cracker-box for the head, sand for the winding-sheet, and the howl of the coyote, and the everlasting winds for his requiem, constitutes the frontiers-- man's obsequies.

It is wonderful how much good nature and cheerfulness this open-air life develops. While the ranchmen are by no means saints, and have rather more than the average of sins, yet they are full of good fellowship. The housekeeper is always glad to receive guests -- the more the merrier. A large ranch has cabins at every water-hole, and the rent is always free. A stranger usually takes possession, cooks at the fireplace, sleeps in the best bed-room and in the morning is off and no questions asked -- Arizona Cor. Indianapolis Journal.