94

ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.
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Telephone girls are not saints, yet there is always a "hallo" around their heads.

General Grant spoke of Ben Butler as the bottled General. He would have been twice as valuable if he had never burst his cork. N. Y. Graphic.

The Coercion bill and Buffalo Bill divide the attention of the British people. On the whole the B. B. is more popular than the C. B. --Lowell Courier.

There will be very few marriages in New York this spring. The strike of the silversmiths has advanced the price of wedding presents. --Baltimore American.

"What was the text this morning?" asked a stay-at-home husband of a church-going wife. "Many are called, but few are chosen." "What jury did he have reference to?" --Life.

"Fellow slaves," began an orator at a labor meeting in Buffalo, and then he stopped. "Go ahead," cried a voice in the audience: "most of us are married." --Burlington Free Press.

Three hundred thousand copies of "She" have been sold in this country, says an exchange. Probably more than 9,000,000 of "shes" are ready to acknowledge that they not sold when they married the man they did. --Danville Breeze.

A Tennessee newspaper contains the following: "We are rejoiced to know that J. C. Rackbelt, that prince of gentlemen and czar of culture, has secured the contract for building the plank sidewalk in front of the Gibbons block. He is a gentleman of the old school, and knows a good piece of plank when he sees it."

WHACHT THE UPSHACHT WILL BE.
The Thistle's a very fast yacht,
I would be folly to think that it's;
Yet, to windward or leeward,
We all feel asseeward
Of the Yankee's outsailing the Seacht.
--II. O. Hanlon.