Code of Legal Ethics == Revised
1. When you settle with your client take all his property, but don't also take his shirt--unless you need it worse than he does.
2. If a man offers you $5 to lie, don't take it. Ask $6.
3. If a client asks you a legal question you can't answer, tell him to come in to-morrow, that you are busy.
4. If you lose your case, tell your client that the law is wrong, or that the judge didn't know the law, or that the other attorney lied and cheated.
5. If you don't know much law, don't say much--look wise.
6. If your opposing attorney argues by talking much and saying little, loud, get a megaphone and give the college yell.
7. If your client complains because your fee covered all the property in dispute, offer consolation in the fact that the other fellow didn't get it.
8. Make your first client pay all your law school expenses, and remind him that they were incurred for his benefit.
9. Don't work---unless you have to.
10. Don't commit champerty--unless times are dull.
11. Love your neighbor as yourself in proportion to what he has; and always be ready to relieve him of his burdens--if money worries him.
12. Tap the rich, and write sentiments of sympathy for the poor.
13. Do your duty--but do the other fellow first. Do all this and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours,--if you have the gall to ask for it in fee simple.
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