158

STARBEAMS.

Over an obscure door in New York is this sign: "Mending for bachelors."

What is a circus without the intelligent mule" Nothing but a vain, fleeting show.

Theodore Thomas has sued the National opera company. Does he expect to get blood out of a turnip?

In Cincinnati the thugs are brave enough to attack a blind man, rob him, and make off with the booty.

Several of the pure minded young men of Cincinnati were arrested and fined, last Sunday, for playing at baseball.

A dog fancier says it is poor policy to feed dogs meat in the hot days of summer. Bread and butter is a safer diet.

There is a brilliant galaxy of American talent in Europe. There is Blaine, Cameron, Pulitzer and Cody (Buffalo Bill).

The weather forecast of the old farmer is no longer of value. The modern man or woman goes to the signal service report.

Carry your umbrella. It is so American, you know, and also English. This summer they all do it. The sun makes it necessary.

George Francis Train thinks he is not in need of money. [?] has declined an offer of $10,000 from a bureau for thirty lectures on the "burning questions" of the day.

Men now who make wills should specify whether they prefer the plain, old-fashioned burial or the crematory process. The two ways are open in this country.

It is well to look at affairs in time. It has been observed that when Robinson Crusoe wanted his man Friday for a Saturday's job he always engaged him on the day previous.

The New Orleans [Picayune?] is confident that no one can realize how much money there is in the world until he reads the assets of insurance companies printed on the backs of their folders.

During the "dog days" muzzle your dog. Excessive heat, long continued, makes rabid madness. In the economy of nature there has been no niche found for the dog possessed with the rabies.

A woman in Ohio who had seperated from her husband and wished to take every precaution against any further complications, left his church and joined another, giving as her reason for so doing that she did not want to meet her husband in heaven.

Over seventy-five thousand copies of "She" have been sold in this country. In the same time these "She's" have been moving away. It is probable that not more than five thousand copies of "David Copperfield" have been sold. There is no accounting for taste.

There is an old man up in Maine, not the "man from Maine," who believes he is a second Noah. He is constructing a primitive ark. As it has been raining there steadily for more than a weel, he believes the ark will be needed and his washed-out neighbors are not cross to him.

The author of "She" is fervent enough in his professions for morality, but in his novel which he calls "Jess" he allows one of his characters to say "It is a melancholy fact that women rather like being sworn at than otherwise, provided, the swearer is the man they are attached to" This is not a "melancholy fact" nor a fact of any other sort. It is not a fact at all --the fact is the reverse of the statement. A woman does not banker after being cursed, and especially is it disagreeable to them to be sworn at by the "man they are attached to" Mr Hagard should see that his characters do not indulge in incorrect statements.